Why Is Biotech So Cold?

By: Annie Zhang

Arguably, one of the most distinctive features of Biotechnology High School is its nippy temperatures. Particularly in the MPR and downstairs labs, frigidity is an expectation for many students. So why is Biotech so cold? Perhaps it has something to do with this old, old tale of Speckled Bacteria and the pokey little microbe:

There once was a Speckled Bacteria, and he collected things. He’d collected the cell membrane and the cell wall, the cytoplasm and the curly DNA, a handful of squat pili and quite a few roly-poly ribosomes. All the things he could find in the land, he collected, and after some time, he'd collected all things but one thing: the floppy flagella. Really, the floppy flagella was just a twirly whirly whip, but Speckled Bacteria had resolved, long before he had even started his pili collection, to collect the flagella and stick it straight on his behind. It was sure, he was certain, to be charming.

The thing with the floppy flagella, however, was that it was stuck on the behind of some other creature already, a little pokey microbe. So when at last Speckled Bacteria collected the floppy flagella, a little pokey microbe was minced for his flagella. And to this day, whenever someone thinks of bacteria, flagella with or without, the cold, cold ghost of a little pokey microbe haunts his (or her) body.

And I suppose that’s also why Biotech is so chilly.